Autism Acceptance Month 2018 Day 10: I is for Identity

BSL: identity (contextual: first sign is used when when referring to yourself, second when referring to another person)

I is for Identity

Human beings have a tendency to categorise themselves and others in various ways and through this, identities are forged; people identify themselves through groups to which they belong and form communities around that - for example, political beliefs, religion, cultural heritage, language(s) used, hobbies, disability, and neurology. These different aspects of identity come together in unique combinations.

Identity is hugely important for many autistics, and autism is a central part of our identity, which is why the vast majority of us favour the use of identity-first language ("is autistic") over person-first language ("person with autism"/"person who has autism"). I did an entire long blog post on it this time last year, which you can read here at 30 Days of Autism Acceptance: Day 15, and there are many articles on the subject by other autistics and allies, all easily available.

I identify as Autistic, as do many others, rather than as "a person with autism" or "having autism" because autism is integral to our very being - it affects everything about how we experience the world and is not just an add-on. I have fibromyalgia and ME/CFS but they do not define me in the way that being autistic does; I would still very much be the same person without those conditions (just more busy and less tired/in pain!) whereas if I was not autistic I would  be a completely different person.

I recognise that there are difficulties with being autistic, and while a lot of those can be significantly alleviated if the world was more autistic-friendly, there are going to be times when all the accommodations in the world will not prevent a meltdown. However, I would not change my neurology for the world and I would never want to not be autistic. It has given me the ability to hyperfocus in a way thatmight not be possible if I was NT, have an incredibly retentive memory for things that interest me (although I'm still incapable of going into town or to Sainsbury's without a list if I'm going to have any chance of getting everything I want!), a level of passion that I'm not sure I'd have if I wasn't autistic, an eye and ear for detail, a visual brain (really beneficial for someone who's involved in the Deaf community and wants to be a BSL/English interpreter!), the ability to think differently from others and thus put a different perspective on things and probably many others.

Having a formal diagnosis has enabled me to be confident in my identity as an autistic woman, which I went into more detail about earlier this month in the D is for Diagnosis post.

Being autistic defines me. I see many people, both autistics and parents, say that they "won't let autism define [them/their child]", but that's not actually viable, because the very nature of autism influences absolutely everything about a person: how they perceive, experience and interact with the world, how they respond to things, how they think, how they process, how they communicate, how they interpret things, how they manage tasks, how they learn... Everything.

Accepting an autistic identity is crucial for mental wellbeing. I don't mean that once you accept the identity everything is immediately going to be perfect, but it does allow for improvement and self-confidence. It helps you understand who you are and how you experience the world. If you are constantly fighting against that aspect of your identity, it makes it very difficult to progress because you are essentially at war with yourself, rather than utilising your strengths and being kind to yourself with and accepting of your difficulties. Since discovering I was autistic, I have been much more gentle with myself when I struggle, reminding myself that it's OK if I don't feel able to cope with somewhere with multiple background noises, that it's OK to request that people are clear and direct rather than dropping hints (because I cannot pick up on hints, ever!), etc. But also, I have come to recognise my strengths and utilise those.

 Once I accepted myself as autistic, I became much more confident in myself. I had much more insight into myself and how I related to the world, and it enabled me to find others who shared this identity and thus find a community to which I truly belonged. I wrote a bit about this process last year in Harry Potter, autism and me. And this can be wonderfully liberating.

Accepting that I was autistic and strongly identifying so gave me the confidence and self-esteem to be fully and authentically me, without restraining behaviours and communication styles that were autistic and trying to adhere to NT standards and conventions that felt uncomfortable, unnatural and wrong. Acting NT (or at least, trying to follow conventions that would reduce the likelihood of me being bullied, singled out and excluded). Stimming in public? No longer suppressing that just because some people think it's weird! And to be honest, the more people who are unafraid to act autistically in public and are themselves, the better - it becomes less unusual, less remarkable, and will hopefully lead to greater acceptance because people will realise it is simply one aspect of humanity.

And if autistic children see autistic adults accepting their identity and being authentic and true to themselves, hopefully they will be more confident in themselves. The Deaf community, as I've mentioned previously, has a concept called "Deaf positive", and it's all about being confident in youself as a Deaf person, as a sign language user, as equal to hearing people, accepting and embracing your Deafness and being part of a community of people like you. Deaf youth can look at Deaf adults who are comfortable and confident using sign language in public, requesting and explaining communication needs, living happy and successful (however you want to define that) lives.

Part of autism acceptance is the autistic equivalent, which I refer to as Autistic Positive. We desperately need that and autism acceptance - true acceptance - means that autistic people are confident to be themselves, accepting of how their brain works, because NT society accepts them ("acceptance is an action" is a common phrase you'll see around, and it really is - it requires people to make effort to include autistics and to not try to make us NT, to accept us as we are) and confident in their identity as an Autistic person.

I hope this makes sense as I'm a bit tired and have been thinking heavily in BSL rather than English!

30 Days of Autism Acceptance: Day 30

#30DaysofAutismAcceptance

Day 30: 

Talk with pride. Are you proud to be autistic? How do you show the world your pride?

So, we're finally here: the final day!

I am definitely proud to be autistic! I wouldn't change it for the world; as I said in previous posts, if a cure was offered I would never take it. I am me, I accept who I am and how I'm wired, and I wouldn't have it any other way! Yes, there are difficulties that being autistic brings, but so much of that could be alleviated and eliminated if the world accepted us as we are and accommodated us. Also if they accepted that we don't want to be "cured"; we're not diseased or anything like that.

How do I show the world my pride? By sharing with people the positives and by not kowtowing to NT norms that don't make sense, by being me and not changing who I am just to fit other people. By supporting organisations that accept and help us, that include us and are autistic-led (such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and the Autism Women's Association), and speaking out against and rejecting those that promote hatred of and reject us (such as Autism $peaks). By accepting and working with the difficulties rather than fighting them.

There's probably more I could say, but I'm exhausted. I may return to this in future, depending on how the mood takes me and if anything that occurs prompts me to.

This concludes my 30DaysofAutismAcceptance posting marathon., at least for 2017.

Questions are always welcome!

30 Days of Autism Acceptance: Day 14

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Day 14:

Talk about role models.  Who are your role models?  How have they influenced you?

I've got a number of role models, both autistic and non-autistic. There are more but these are the ones that spring to mind initially. I'm summarising partly because I'm still using April as an introductory period for all sorts of topics, guided by the daily prompts, and partly because I've got to leave for church in just under an hour and then have something on this evening.

So, my role models:

• Amy Sequenzia - a nonspeaking autistic American lady who has written so many important articles about autism, autism acceptance, language use, nothing about us without us, Autism $peaks, cures and disability generally. She's also very vocal about injustice generally.
• Carly Fleischmann - another nonspeaking autistic lady who's gaining quite a following and has done a number of celebrity interviews. She clearly loves life and has, like Amy Sequenzia, achieved a lot, despite the challenges and prejudices of the world.
• Stella Young - a now-deceased Australian lady who was very vocal about disability rights and access, who repeatedly spoke out against the way disabled people are objectified and used for inspiration porn. She did an absolutely fantastic TED talk on the subject, which you can watch here and/or read the transcript here.
• Jeremy Corbyn - current leader of the UK Labour party. He's constantly maligned and attacked, ruthlessly, in the UK media, made out to be a crackpot, described as Hard Left by his detractors and enemies (even though he isn't as far-left as he's made out to be, and is far more true to the party's stances, origins and platforms than recent leaders) - a recent academic study found that only 11% of media articles and reports about him were accurate - and yet he keeps going. I don't agree with absolutely everything he believes in (anyone would be hard-pressed to find a politician who believes in 100% of the same things as them) but I agree with the vast majority of things. He speaks up for the voiceless, the discriminated against, the oppressed, the vulnerable; he fights injustice and inequality and for a better, caring society; he's principled and sticks to his principles; he can't be bought; he's a rare breed of politician.
• Jesus - I'm Catholic, Jesus was bound to come up eventually! ;-) He spoke out against injustice, inequality, greed, selfishness, exclusion and cruelty; he spoke for caring for everyone, for the the world, inclusion, selflessness.
• Pop Francis - for many of the same reasons as Corbyn and, obviously, Jesus; he's not afraid to speak out, to be controversial, to challenge the Church hierarchy; his teachings are MUCH closer to Christ's than some previous Popes. This is a man who knows what he's talking about, who has an excellent understanding of the world, who's not afraid to "get his hands dirty", as it were, who walks the walk instead of just talking the talk (he used to sneak out of the Vatican at night and work at a homeless shelter) and who is perfectly comfortable challenging those who bring the Church and humanity generally into disrepute.

They have influenced me to speak out, to use my voice and resources, to fight injustice (not as actively as I'd like because of my various disabilities, especially the fibro and CFS/ME, which limit what I can do, where I can go, how long I can spend doing it, etc, but I do my best), to try to improve the world.

They have influenced me to accept my Autistic identity, to promote acceptance of neurodiversity.

They have influenced me to do my best and to never give up, however hopeless a situation may be, that even one voice can make a difference, can help bring about change.